CALL THE WARDEN: SOMEONE STOLE THE KEY TO THURSDAY

FOLKS THE MARCH MADNESS BRACKETS HAVE BEEN RELEASED AND THE BANKING SYSTEM AS WE KNOW IT IS ON THE VERGE OF COLLAPSE. DESPITE THESE DOMINANT FORCES OPPOSING US — IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A BAD WEEK TO BE A CHECKING ACCOUNT. 

NOW AS A SEASONED VETERAN OF THE MARCH MADNESS SEASON I CAN CONFIDENTLY RELAY TO YOU, MY PAYING CUSTOMERS, THAT WHAT MAKES OR BREAKS YOUR TOURNAMENT (AND OUTLOOK ON LIFE) IS WHAT HAPPENS ONCE THE GUN GOES OFF. I, COACH DUKES, HAVE PREPARED 3 KEYS I WANT TO YOU TO HEED TO ENSURE YOU ROLL INTO THE REST OF THE WEEKEND WITH CASH IN HAND AND YOUR BOOKIE SIGNING UP TO START DOOR DASHING.

KEY #1: ASK YOURSELF- WHY NOT ME?

I’VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK AND HAVE SEEN EVERY KIND OF BASKETBALL HANDICAPPER THAT EXISTS. WHAT SEPARATES THE WINNERS FROM THE LOSERS IS CONFIDENCE. I WANT EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU TO SIT DOWN THURSDAY MORNING WITH A CUP OF COFFEE IN HAND AND ASK YOURSELF— WHY CAN'T I SWEEP THE BOARD TODAY? WHY CAN’T THIS BE THE YEAR I FLIP THE SWITCH? IF YOU CAN START TO VISUALIZE WINNING TICKETS FOLKS… THEY WILL APPEAR

KEY #2: STRIKE HARD AND STRIKE FAST

TREAT THE EARLY GAMES ON THURSDAY LIKE OPERATION OMAHA. WHEN THE GATE DROPS MOVE YOUR ASS AND TAKE THE BEACH. THIS ISN'T UBER LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, YOU DON'T SAVE ANY MONEY BY WAITING. THE KEY IS TO CONFIDENTLY LAND SOME HARD EARLY STRIKES SO WHEN YOU GET TO THE EVENING GAMES YOU EITHER NEED ONE OR YOU DON’T. AS A GAMBLER YOU MAKE MOST OF YOUR MONEY WITH YOUR BACK AGAINST THE WALL OR STAYING AWAY.  BETTING FOR FUN WILL CRUSH YOU. DON'T FEEL IT OUT, CREATE URGENCY EARLY. 

KEY #3: NEXT MAN UP MENTALITY

LISTEN LADIES (MAYBE) AND GENTLEMAN. WE’VE ALL FELT OURSELF GO COLD A TIME OR TWO. TWICE THIS YEAR IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL (15 WEEKS) I HAD A SUB 50% WEEKEND. MARCH IS DIFFERENT THAN FOOTBALL, YOU DON’T HAVE A WEEK TO REGAIN YOUR WITS. ITS A BOILER ROOM AND AS YOU LAY THERE GUTTED THE TICKET WINDOW ON THE NEXT GAME IS CLOSING. THE BEST GAMBLERS IN THE WORLD KNOW WHEN TO STOP TRUSTING THEMSELVES. WHEN YOU FEEL THAT COLD WIND HOWLING IN YOUR BRAIN, MAKE LIKE BORED PERSON ON A TRIP— CALL A FRIEND. HAVING THAT NEXT MAN READY ON THE FIRST DAY WILL SEPARATE YOU FROM THE AMATEURS.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS. PRINT MULTIPLE COPIES OF THESE KEYS. HANG ONE UP IN THE BREAK ROOM, HAND THEM OUT TO YOUR NEIGHBORS, AND GO SEE IF GRANDMA IN THE HOME NEEDS THE MEMO.

 BEST OF LUCK AND WHEN YOU GO TO THE TICKET WINDOW AS ALWAYS TELL THEM DUKES SENT YOU

-COACH FRANKLIN J DUKES

P.S. YOU DIDN'T HEAR THIS FROM ME BUT SAN DIEGO STATE -5 ;)