The Perfect Woman

This past year I traveled the world (X f/k/a Twitter) and saw many beautiful humans. I will now combine them to create the most beautiful human in the world. Many have called me the Frankenstein of my generation. History seems to forget that Frankenstein was the doctor and not the monster. Some of these decisions were tough and I will not tolerate any backlash. There’s a high chance I think of someone else after writing this, but I am sticking to my decisions. In light of recent events, particularly events including sorority members from the South Eastern Conference, I must note that this list is limited to real celebrities and not those that (ALLEGEDLY) sleep with their boyfriends’ dads.  

• Head - Ana Celia de Armas Caso. I was contemplating just having her as the entire article because got dayum. And before you ask, yes, this category includes her bilinguality. 

• Torso - Sydney Bernice Sweeny. I was just as shocked as you when I read Bernice was her middle name. She has my utmost respect for sharing the gift God gave her with us on the big screen. 

  • Honorable mention - Alexandra Anna Daddario. Quite possibly the greatest in every other generation. She was just born in the same generation as the GOAT. It really is a Messi-Ronaldo-esque debate. 

• Backside - Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll. I mulled this one over for awhile. The hips were the tipping point. They have never lied to me, and I do not suspect they will anytime soon. 

• Legs - Carrie Underwood.

There you have it. I recognize this is a departure from coachdukessports.com’s typical sports blogs, but I wanted to grace you guys with a lighthearted blog before we get into the nitty gritty of March Madness. Good luck on your bets, my sons.