THE DEFINITIVE 2023 QB DRAFT CLASS RANKINGS


BY: COACH DUKES 

THE MERRIAM WEBSTER DICTIONARY DEFINES THE TERM “PITHY” AS “CONCISE AND FORCEFULLY EXPRESSIVE.” A TERM SO BEAUTIFUL THAT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT’S ONLY A LETTER HEAVIER THAN THE UNSIGHTLY “PITY”.  YOU SEE FOLKS… THAT’S WHAT SCOUTING IS. WE WATCH TAPE FOR HOURS ON END, WE DIVE DEEP INTO THE STATS, FILL COFFEE, IGNORE OUR 2ND WIFE, AND GO RIGHT BACK TO THE TAPE. OUR JOB IS TO IDENTIFY THAT SOMETIMES ALMOST INVISIBLE LINE OF WHICH YOUNG MAN HAS THAT SHIT TO WIN, AND WHO IS GOING TO SIT. THAT H IS WHY WE ARE PAID THE BIG BUCKS. THAT’S WHAT I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF SORTING OUT FOR YOU. FROM CHINESE BUFFET CHEFS TO CHAMPIONSHIP LEVEL QUARTERBACKS THE KEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN MASTERING YOUR CRAFT TO A POINT OF PRECISION AND WHEN YOU EXECUTE.. IT TSUNAMIS THROUGH THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.  PITHY


ENOUGH OF THAT, LET'S GET INTO THE RANKINGS 


FOLKS, LET'S NOT OVERTHINK THIS THING AT ALL. 58TD AND 5INT OVER A TWO YEAR PERIOD. PROTOTYPICAL SIZE AND HE MAJORED IN AGRICULTURE. SHOWS HE IS AN AMAZING DECISION MAKER. WAS PERHAPS ON HIS WAY TO A NCAA TITLE BEFORE GETTING HIS KNEE CUT OFF IN COLUMBIA. MANY PEOPLE FORGET JUST HOW ACCURATE HE WAS ON A LOT OF DEEP BALLS.  HE’S OLD I GET IT, BUT SO WAS JOE BURROW. IF HE FINDS THE RIGHT FIT AND CAN LEARN AN OZ OF POCKET PRESENCE. THIS IS THE GUY.   


PRO COMPARISON: JUSTIN HERBERT | PROJECTION: INSIDE THE TOP 10


LISTEN AR-15 IS THE MOST TALENTED QB IN THIS CLASS AND HE REMINDS ME OF MAHOMES THAT CAN RUN. HE IS NO WHERE AS GOOD OFF PLATFORM BUT HIS SCRAMBLES ARE BETTER.  THEN I TRIED TO GOOGLE WHAT HIS MAJOR IS AND I LEARN HE DIDN'T HAVE ONE. I ALSO LEARNED HE’S ONLY 20. SO HE’S EITHER DUMB AS HELL OR SMART AS HELL FOR KNOWING HE’D NEVER NEED ONE. HE CAN’T LEAD A LOCKER ROOM AT 20, BUT IF HE CAN’T SIT A YEAR HE MAY GET NICE. I’M HEDGING MY BET HE’S DUMB THOUGH


PRO COMPARISON: JOSH ALLEN | PROJECTION: INSIDE THE TOP 10


BROCK PURDY DID SOMETHING TO THE QB MARKET THIS OFFSEASON WHERE TEAMS ARE VALUING SMALL, LIMITED QB’S WHO LEARN AN OFFENSE AND KNOW HOW TO GET THE BALL OUT ON THE FIRST OR SECOND READ. TUNE DOES THAT AND MORE. HE PUT TOGETHER 4 AMAZING SEASONS AS HOUSTON'S SIGNAL CALLER. HE FEELS PRIMED TO ENTERTAIN A LOCKER ROOM. HIS ATHLETIC SCORES AT THE COMBINE TURNED SOME EYES INCLUDING MINE AND A MID SIZE MOBILE QB IN A PASS HEAVY OFFENSE WE'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE RIGHT? WRONG


PRO COMPARISON: LAMAR JACKSON | FIRST ROUND


THIS GUY IS VERY QUICK WITTED WHICH GIVES ME PAUSE WITH HOW MUCH HE REMINDS ME OF BAKER. I *THINK HES A BIGGER VERSION, BUT NOT NECESSARILY MORE TALENTED. I’VE GOT HIM AS A SURPRISE SUCCESS DUE TO HIS COLLEGE NAVIGATION AND OVERALL ARM/BODY.


PRO COMPARISON: DANIEL JONES | FIRST ROUND


I GET KYLER MURRAY VIBES FROM THIS PUSSY KNOWING THEY BOTH WERE TREATED LIKE GOD IN HS AND COULDNT WIN ANYTHING COLLEGE. 


PRO COMPARISON: KYLER MURRAY | LATE FIRST


UNBELIEVABLE ATHLETE. LED THE RESURGENCE OF THE UCLA FOOTBALL TEAM. OLD DRAFTEE VERY RELIABLE. WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED TO SEE THE TITANS OR THE RAMS TO TAKE HIM 


PRO COMPARISON: RUSSELL WILSON| 3RD DAY



LISTEN, THIS YOUNG MAN WAS NUMBER ONE ON MY LIST UNTIL THE S2 THINGS CAME OUT. WETHER THEY ARE TRUE OR NOT I THINK IT PAINTS MY BOY CJ AS A DUMBASSS, WHICH HE IS. CANT MOVE, CANT FEEL, BUT CAN REED. EASIEST COMPARISON OF MY LIFE


PRO COMPARISON: KIRK COUSINS | 3RD DAY